I haaaaate staying up late, because then I will inevitably snack. And wouldn’t you know, I’m typing this with peanut butter fingers. At least I didn’t finish the whole jar. Wish I could say the same for that pack of fig newtons last night. Today was such a frantic day though: running all around the city (in the rain) for props for Aquila and then straight to rehearsal for our Showcase Fundraiser cabaret. That’s gonna be sweeeeet. I’m excited to see everyone perform (including our teachers!!!) and I’M singing a song, so that’s fun.
…I think detailing my day was me trying to justify eating peanut butter straight out of the jar. But it was raining, and I didn’t have an umbrella! It has protein in it! It was organic! I had a banana too! argh.
Something pretty exciting is my sister’s bachelorette party which is this Saturday. And I randomly have this Friday off work, so I get to go home early. Happiness! Somehow I got into looking up quotes today, trying to find something that reminded me of Jamie. I reeeeally love quotes. I keep I quote book, which I’ve had for a few years, but nothing in there popped as something to give to her in my maid of honor toast. Whenever I approach writing something, I usually find some sort of quote that relates to it (I don’t know if I can name all the school assignments I began with quoting somebody..haha). So, the internet hasn’t yielded anything, but I have some time (the wedding is Sept. 18. Oh that’s right, weekend before showcase. hmmmmm..). I’ll just have to keep going to Yoga to the People. At the end of each class, as we lay in final shavasana, the teacher always reads a quote, and it’s ALWAYS a phenominal one. This is one they did the other day, written by Oriah The Mountain Dreamer:
“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”
It’s hard to think about peanut butter after reading that, huh? I think it’s time for bed. And, you know? I wouldn’t mind if it rained tomorrow.