Tales from Frozen, plus How to Get Up at 6am for your Audition..

NYC has some exciting EPAs on the horizon and today was super cool cause we had the development lab EPA for FROZEN. Aka, the Broadway was looking for a Disney princess…

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The lab is happening in May, but they are also doing an out of town tryout in Denver next year, so there are audishes to come. In any case, it was a good excuse to watch Frozen (for the first time!) with Momma King, and put my reddish hair to good use.

Got to Ripley round 7:30am, and there was already a line of ladies- but only because the building wasn’t open yet. When we finally got to the holding room, it actually wasn’t as many people as I assumed there would be! While we waited for the monitor to do sign up, we all had time to beat our faces, curl the hair, and play with the baby that showed up (for realz. This boss of a mama came with her 2 month old in tow, because, as she said, “It’s Frozen. I had to come.”).

Got my time, vocalized at cap/monologued to the students about my casting theories for the show, hustled back uptown to Ripley (bless you, unlimited metro card), sang my 32, exercised, scarfed a bunch of brussels sprouts at City Bakery, and clocked in at work.

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about how exhausting the “high stakes” aspect of auditioning can be. It is like going on several job interviews a week… But auditioning is much more vulnerable. You are presenting your voice, and emotional life, and physical self over and over again, and the lack of professional affirming feedback (or what some may call, the excess of “rejection”) can get debilitating. And no one is harsher than your own inner critic. If you are not perfect (which is always:)), if you mess up, or didn’t do what you knew you were capable of, it can ruin a day. But it is essential to remember that it is just one audish, and it doesn’t set you back. There are always opportunities. And you are still worthy of being seen, no matter what.

To keep up the good fight with these open call auditions when you are exhausted by them or drained by their perceived negativity, it is imperative that you find the “Exhilarating Moments” of the audition process. Finding the Exhilarating Moments is another way of saying, find the positive. It is always sooooooo easy to lean into the negative. Anyone can do that. But it takes much more work to find the positive. If you hate auditioning, find what you love about it. Landing on the exhilarating moments of this process is what will feed your purpose and will keep getting you up at 6am to take your giant-ass backpack to sign up and get SEEN. Turn the positives into affirmations that you can repeat to yourself when you find yourself steeped in negative self-talk and worn down by the seeming lack of forward momentum.

Here are my own affirmations when it comes to the audition:

– The people behind the table are rooting for me. They want me to be the answer!

– I am meant to do this. I am meant to share my gifts, my voice and my story with the world and I have the chance to do that today.

– This is what I dreamed about as a 14 year old lying awake at night in little Pasadena, Maryland.

– I will meet a casting director today that will help me onto the next step of living the life of my dreams.

– This is my job. It’s my dream job!

– I choose to be inspired by all those around me. We are all a part of this beautiful community.

– Auditioning is fun! I get to act and sing material I love today!

 

For real tho, auditioning is super fun! I allow myself to be that highschooler auditioning for my school plays. I LOVED the excitement of it. It was always so thrilling. And how cool that this life we chose allows us all these moments of exhilaration.

Keep doing what you love!!

Ctina

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Moleskines and Theatre

I often spend time gazing lovingly on my moleskine calendar. I highlight my auditions and appointments in pink and my work shifts in yellow. On the left side I have my schedule and on the right side I have all the of the reagonal theatre’s seasons of that week written out, plus random lists, quotes, etc. Basically, my planner is a mess of pink, yellow and pencil doodles, with lots of things boxed, circled, checked, and starred. It looks insane, but I think it is beautiful and I love laying it open and just staring at it. Scheduling out each day is veeery satisfying to me. I really commend everyone who uses their phone which I’m sure is a lot neater and cleaner. But I definitely prefer a big, bulky book that I have to cart around and open to see all the madness laid out in front of me. For the curious, I use this extra large moleskine. I get next year’s as soon as it comes out bc they get sold out like whoa.

I just said goodbye to the parents who were in town visiting me for a few days. It was so fun having them here. While they stayed with me, I went to three auditions, and they LOVED tagging along with me to see the goings-on. They’ve gone to plenty of auditions with me in Baltimore and D.C., but only one in NYC (a very busy ECC a few months ago). They were a super fun posse to have around amidst the audition madness. My mom was a sneaky paparazzi and took some pics of me doing some serious prep:

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And also when I was on line waiting to go in:

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^I’m laughing because I saw her sneaking the pic! lol.

The first night they were here, we went to see Beautiful: The Carol King Musical.

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So. GOOD!!!! Super feel good, really well put together, great design and I think mom and I were smiling the whooooole time. I could tell the performers were have the BEST TIME.

This week I’m planning on seeing Bedlam’s Sense and Sensibility. It’s supposed to be a really high energy, modern version of Jane Austen’s novel. I’m heading to D.C. next week to audish for the Folger Theatre’s production- stoked!

Keep on doing what you love.

Ctina

 

 

After Bedtime

You know those nights when you come home dead tired and hungry, so you stay up just to eat and, you know, watch 30 Rock and read Vulture, and then like, you’re done eating dinner, but you’re ready for just one more 30 Rock cause your on that Tina Fey high, and then your like, whoa it is TIME for sleep, but then somehow you’ve pushed past tired into, MAN, I don’t want to sleep, I just want it to be morning so I can have coffee and read Vulture updates. It’s actually a periodic cycle that a piece of me watches with horror while my other peices rejoice in the comedic revelry that instant Netflix gives me. Curse you, 30 Rock, butreallyiloveyouwithallmyheart.

This week has definitely been on the chiller side audition wise (minus the North shore EPA I tried to crash to no avail), which is good because I injured my knee while running last week and its still being extremely pesky even after I bought it new sneakers. The gull of that joint! The good thing about the cold front that seized our city is that now whenever I’m outside, my knee just sort of grows numb with the cold and I feel nothing but the freezing slap of death against my  exposed cheeks. Yay!

Anyway, these ramblings need to stop if I want my dream of coffee and Vulture to happen in the morn. But I’ll leave by leaving some of my winter missions on here so that WordPress holds me accountable for them:

– more videos of me singing will be released into the ether..
-more play going and movie going will occur…. … .
– and coffee with friends will be planned….. …

Goodnight!